December 25, 2020

Friday

Christmas morning! It was strange to wake up thousands of miles away from home. I really wanted to run downstairs and see my tree with the cat underneath and my family in the living room. I guess the holidays have been the hardest part of being away for me because you know what these days are “supposed” to look like. There’s a plan to be followed, a blueprint laid out. For everyday life, there’s really nothing like that. You shape your own existence no matter where you are, but holidays are different. You know who sits where, who arrives first, who stays the longest, and what movies are on the TV.

I woke up at 10 and had to wait for everyone else in the apartment to wake up after me. There was a slow meandering to the living room where the family started to open presents. Instead of taking turns, each member of the family opened all their gifts at one time. Célia went first, then Ines, me, then Catherine. They received clothes, perfume, jewelry, lots of Disney items, and makeup. After each gift, Catherine told me that women in France love jewelry, love perfume, insert item here and asked if I liked it. Most of the items were things that don’t really interest me, which seemed to disappoint her. I felt awkward for once again failing to conform to the French standard of femininity.

I was very grateful and excited to receive a toaster over and a pan from the family for Christmas. It made my day!

After opening presents and a Christmas brunch, we got dressed up in ugly Christmas sweaters and walked back over to the neighbor’s apartment for a Christmas dinner.

Before we got started with the meal around 7pm, we took some photos in our sweaters in front of the tree.

The meal lasted again until about 2:30 the next morning. The food was absolutely amazing. However, I found it a bit of a struggle to make through. I was receiving messages from friends and family back home wishing me a Merry Christmas and it was difficult to be so far from them. This was the first time I didn’t get to see my family open their gifts and I didn’t get to share even a phone call with them. I felt really isolated at a table full of friends and family that didn’t make much of an effort to include me in conversation.

I was thankful when we finally said our goodnights and were able to go back to Catherine’s apartment for the night. I was excited to get back to my place the next day to have privacy so I could call my loved ones back home. While Christmas was certainly an experience here and I am glad to have seen it, I’m happy the day is over.